Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact.” by Phil M Jones

 Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact.” by Phil M Jones.

The worst time to think about the thing you are going to say is in the moment you are saying it. This book prepares you for nearly every known eventuality and provides you with a fair advantage in almost every conversation.

I’m Not Sure If It’s for You, But

This rejection-free approach creates a simple outcome. One of two things happens: your listener leans in and asks for more information because they are personally interested, or, in the very, very worst-case scenario, they say they will give it some thought.

EXAMPLES

Here are a few examples to help you in your daily routine:

I’m not sure if it’s for you, but would you happen to know someone who is interested in (insert the results of your product or service)?

I’m not sure if it’s for you, but we have plans on Saturday, and you’re welcome to join us.

I’m not sure if it’s for you, but this option is available for this month only, and I would hate for you to miss out.

Open-Minded

When introducing a new idea, start with, How open-minded are you? This will naturally attract people toward the very thing that you’d like them to support. Everybody wants to be open-minded.

EXAMPLES

Here are a few examples of the words in practice:

How open-minded would you be about trying this as an alternative?

Would you be open-minded about giving this a chance?

How open-minded are you about increasing your monthly income?

Would you be open-minded about seeing if we could work together?

What Do You Know?

To influence others, you must be aware of how to control a conversation. One way of regaining control is to move the other person’s position from one of certainty to one of doubt.

EXAMPLES

Examples you could use in the real world are...

What do you know about us, our business, and the way we do things differently?

What do you know about everything that has changed since (insert event)?

What do you know about how things really work here?

What do you know about the benefits of (insert product sector)?

These questions allow the other person to realize their opinion is perhaps not correct, and they can quickly become far more receptive to change.

How Would You Feel If?

It is the meaning of this word [motivation] that creates the true base for understanding all areas of negotiation, influence, and persuasion, and you should explore it further if you would like to perform at your peak.

The real world tells us that people will work far harder to avoid a potential loss than they will to achieve a potential gain.

Examples might be something like...

How would you feel if this decision led to your promotion?

How would you feel if your competition passed you?

How would you feel if you turned this around?

Just Imagine

In fact, for a decision to come true, you must have first at least imagined yourself doing it. Have you ever been in a situation in which you have said, or even just mouthed, these words back to somebody else: I just couldn’t see myself doing that?

EXAMPLES

Here are some examples:

Just imagine how things will be in six months’ time once you have implemented this.

Just imagine what your boss would say if you missed this opportunity.

Just imagine the look on your kids’ faces when they see you achieve this.

Just imagine the impact this could have.

Creating pictures in the minds of others is done by telling stories. When you hear Just imagine, the brain pictures the very scenario you are creating.

When would be a good time?

One of the biggest reasons your ideas fail to get heard is that others tell you that they just don’t have the time to consider them.

By using the preface, When would be a good time to...? you prompt the other person to subconsciously assume that there will be a good time and that no is not an option.

EXAMPLES

Examples for you to use include...

When would be a good time for you to take a proper look at this?

When would be a good time to get started?

When would be a good time to speak next?

I’m guessing you haven’t got around to 

By pushing for the negative scenario, you get people to rise to the positive or to tell you how they are going to fix the thing they said they were going to do.

EXAMPLES

Here are some examples:

I’m guessing you haven’t got around to looking over the documents yet?

I’m guessing you haven’t got around to setting a date yet?

I’m guessing you haven’t got around to making a decision yet?

Simple Swaps

The psychology behind this technique, which involves turning an open question into a closed one, results in you receiving a guaranteed outcome or answer.

A simple change of wording puts you in control. Swap the phrase, Do you have any questions? with the improved, What questions do you have for me?

A mistake many people make is asking, Can I have your phone number? When you ask somebody, Can I have your...? it creates a permission-based resistance in the other person, which makes it harder to get what you hoped for since a yes or no response is required. It can be seen as an invasion of privacy. Instead, ask the alternative question, What’s the best number to contact you at? results in people effortlessly giving you the information you requested.

You have three options

Of those three options, what’s going to be easier for you? Finishing with another set of Magic Words means they have to pick one of those options.

There are two types of people 

There are two types of people in this world: those who judge something before they have even tried it and those who are prepared to try something and base their opinion on their own experience.

There are two types of people in this world: those who resist change in favor of nostalgia and those who move with the times and create a better future.

You should be able to see the pattern in the examples and understand how the options are clearly stacked in favor of the decision you would like them to pick.

Something for you to think about as a reader is that there are two types of people in this world: those who read books like this and do nothing and those who put what they read into practice and enjoy immediate results.

I Bet You’re a Bit Like Me

This set of words is possibly one of my favorites because it can help just about anybody agree to just about anything. It is even more powerful in a conversation with a stranger than it is with somebody you already know.

When you are talking to a stranger, the conversation needs to move easily, which means it typically follows the path of least resistance.

Example:

I bet you’re a bit like me: you enjoy working hard now, knowing that it will pay dividends in the future.

I bet you’re a bit like me: you hate watching trashy TV in the evening and would rather work on something beneficial.

The Magic Words I bet you’re a bit like me often result in the other person comfortably agreeing with you.

If... Then

When they made conditional statements like these to you, chances are that you believed them. These statements hold power over our beliefs and actions.

As a consequence, creating a scenario using the preface if and adding a second scenario with the preface then means that people are highly likely to believe the outcome.

If you decide to give this a try, then I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Don’t Worry

Don’t worry is particularly useful in high-stress scenarios when confronted with someone who is panicked—it puts people at ease.

You know when you can see and feel the anxiety in somebody, when they are uncertain about what to do next or perhaps even fearful. These two Magic Words provide instant relief, and you can typically see the change in the recipient.

Don’t worry. You’re bound to be nervous right now.

Don’t worry, I know you don’t know what to do right now, but that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to help you through this process and overcome all the hurdles as they crop up along the way.

Don’t worry. I felt just the way you feel right now before I started, and look at me now.

Most People

Indecision is the biggest thing that stands in the way of progress, and these words can help jump people out of procrastination in a flash.

When you tell people what most people would do, their brain says, I’m most people, so perhaps that is what I should do too.

EXAMPLES

The examples for this are endless:

What most people do is complete the forms with me here today. You then receive your welcome pack and we get you booked in for a launch.

Most people put the words most people into their daily conversations, and most of those people see an immediate positive effect.

The Good News

These words provide you with a tool to spin a negative into a positive using a technique called labeling.

By prefacing things with, The good news is..., you cause people to face forward with optimism and zap any negative energy out of the conversation.

You can use this same principle with two more words when faced with people who give excuses or reasons as to why they are not ready to move forward.

What Happens Next

You want them to commit, but following all of this relationship building and imparting of knowledge, the conversation grinds to a stop with nobody leading the actual decision

What happens next is... This is a perfect way of linking all of the information they need to make a decision, the information you provided when you presented to them and bringing them through to the completion that needs to follow. So, what you do is create a scene. You do not ask them what they would like to do; you just tell them what happens next.

It is your responsibility to lead the conversation, and following the sharing of the required information, your role is to move it toward a close.

Finishing this process with a question that is effortless to answer is the key to gaining a rapid response and a positive outcome.

The easier the question is to answer, the easier you gain your decision.

What Makes You Say That?

Objections are a common part of everyday life. We face indecision from others in our personal and professional lives and quite often find ourselves having to accept another person’s idea.

Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions.

Here are a few examples:

The customer says I need to speak to somebody else before I make a decision about this. You say, What makes you say that?

The customer says, Really, I don’t have all the money right now. You say, What makes you say that?

The customer says I’m really not sure I’ve got the time to fit this in around what I’m doing right now. You say, What makes you say that?

This shift of control now leaves the other person obligated to give an answer and fill in the gaps in their previous statement.

Before You Make Your Mind Up

Moving somebody from a no to a yes is nearly impossible. Before you can move someone to full agreement, your first action is to move them to a position of maybe.

Look, before you make your mind up, let’s make sure we’ve looked at all the facts.

Before you make your mind up, why don’t we just run through the details one more time so you can know what it is that you are saying no to?

Before you make your mind up, wouldn’t it make sense to speak to a few more people about the difference this could make for you and your family?

If I Can, Will You?

Have you ever been in one of those scenarios in which your prospect or customer pushes back with reasons as to why they cannot do the thing you would like them to do?

Perhaps they are looking for you to make a change from your standard terms or they would like you to offer an improved price.

If I can pick you up and drop you off at home, then will you be able to be ready for seven pm?

You have the power in these situations to remove the barrier by responding with a powerful question that eliminates the other person’s argument.

Enough

This next word relates precisely to scenarios in which you are looking for others to make decisions on quantity or level of service.

It’s all about making it a lot easier for the other person to reach a little higher than they may have done otherwise.

In face-to-face discussions with a customer, the dilemma often arises over how many bottles they should purchase, and the choice typically sits between two and three bottles. Instead of a detailed analysis of the benefits of three bottles over two, you can easily simplify the decision with the direct question, Would three bottles be enough for you?

In every set of circumstances in which you involve yourself in the decision-making process, you have the power to influence the actions of others.

This use of words drives the recipient to answer the direct question, and yes becomes the path of least resistance.

Integrating this principle into all conversations involving your business can have a huge impact on your results. Just imagine if every transaction contained one more unit.

Just One More Thing

Using the Magic Words Just one more thing keeps the conversation alive and can help you avoid leaving with nothing.

A Favor

People say thank you when they feel they owe you something. This is the best time to ask for someone’s help.

Would it be okay if I gave you a call next week to find out how the chat with Steve went?

It is now time to do yourself a favor and look at all the things you can be asking of others, gaining their commitment before they even know what that thing is.

Just Out of I am not saying that people should feel rushed into decisions. It’s just that my experience tells me this statement rarely means they are heading away to do a detailed analysis of their decision. They are just pushing their decision away to another day.

Examples include...

Just out of curiosity, what is it specifically you need some time to think about?

Just out of curiosity, what needs to happen for you to make a decision about this?

Just out of curiosity, what is it that’s stopping you from moving forward with this right now?

Asking big, brave questions is exactly what you need to do to become a professional mind-maker-upper.

Final Thought

With all these words to consider, I am sure you are now aware that reaching for the right words at the right time can make all the difference. There is one more thing I want to share with you, something that isn’t necessarily a magic word.

It is something, though, that can make a huge and profound difference to your level of success when you impart your knowledge and wisdom to others.

Give an answer that is simple, effortless, positive, and uplifting, and watch how it stuns people into a positive decision.