September 20, 2009

The Book of Numbers - Peter J. Bently

The book of numbers
The secret of numbers and how they changed the world - by peter . J. Bently.

This is a good book on how mathematics - its history and Gurus behind the scene; including interesting story behind numbers.

1000 years ago, when there was no difference between science and religion, numbers seemed to hold the key to understanding the universe. Einstein once said, " There are 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is a as though everything is a miracle".

Even though Romans would have counted 2000 years ago, around 4000 years ago, several tribes developed shorter spoken words for the numbers. Amazingly the words that these farmers/tribes and hunters created from the basisi for the words used throughout Europe today: including Punjab, Hindi, Persian, Afgan, Lycian, Greek, Latin, German, Armenian, Italian, Spanish, Portuguees, French, Romanian, Sardirian, Dalmatian, Welsh, Cornish, Erse, Manx, Scotts, Gaelic, Dutch, Friesian, Anglo-Saxon & English. These people are now known as the Indo-Europeans. They helped to create one of the largest family of languages that we know today.

The Invention of Nothing:

The problem with Roman numbers is that addition/subtraction is difficult. However the Arabic numerals seems so much easier. The reason for calculation seems simpler in Arabic numerals is because we use the position of numerals to give extra meaning. The number furthest to the right always means, " a value less than 10'. The number left o the left of that always means, " a number of tens less than 100." This advantage made Arabic numerals a standard over Roman numerals.

Nothing was invented about 1800 years ago in India. The first representation of zero was made in 628 AD by a 30-year old Indian Mathematician named Brahmagupta. He wrote, Brahmasphutasiddhanta which explained the movement of the planets and how thier precise paths could be calculated. He said, 'Zero is the result of subtracting a number from itself". To prove it, he wrote down a series of mathamatical rules to show what you do with zero.

" When zero is added to a number or subtracted from a number, the number remains unchanged and a number multiplied by zero becomes zero". In the history of Mathamatics, that was very remarkable & important invention.

However he thought a number divided by zero was zero which was a terribly wrong. It was corrected by Bhaskara after 468 years which Baskara said, it should be infinite. But Baskara's version of the answer was wrong too. It took 1000 years after Bramagupta, French mathematician names l'Hopital received the credit for the idea of shrinking series to zero over over zero and it is known today as l"Hopital rule. With his argument, it is simple to show that zero divided by zero could be anything at all. So the answer is indeterminate - meaning it could be any number.

Rational Number:

Pythagoras was born in 569BC to 475BC - same period when Buddha lived. HIs students has to follow strict rules; they had to give up their possessions become vegetarians and follow his beliefs which are the following.
1. That at its deepest level, reality is mathematical in nature
2. That philosophy can be used for spiritual purification
3. That the soul can rise to union with the divine
4. That certain symbols have a mystical significance
5. That all brothers of the order should observe strict loyalty and secrecy.

[Some of the dates associated with famous Greek people)

Pythagoras (569 to 475BC)
Plato (427-347 B.C.)
Aristotle (384-322 B.C.)
Euclid (300 B.C.)
Archimedes (287?-212 B.C.)
Eratosthenes (276-194 B.C.)
Aristarchus (200s B.C.)
Hipparchus (180?-125 B.C.)]

The first Pythagoras theorem - sum of the square of the two sides of a right-angle triangle equals the square of the remaining side - was found on a Babylonian tablet, which dates back from 1900-1600 BC (1000 years before Pythagoras lived).

Pythagoras was perhaps the first professional explorer of the world of numbers, but he wasn't very good at fractions. The fractional notation that we know today was listed in Brahmagupta's book. Fractional numbers have transformed our ability to think small and understand the dimensions of things like atoms. While Pythagoras was learning about numbers, Buddha had already mastered a seemingly impossible trick with tiny numbers.

Perfect Numbers:
These numbers are that can be formed by adding up all the smaller numbers that make up their divisors.

There are only 4 such perfect numbers in the first 10 million natural numbers. (6,28,496,8128)
6= 1+2+3; 6 can be divided by 1,2,&3
28= 1+2+4+7

These first 4 numbers have been known for over 2000 years. Their significance has been debated since thier discovery.
As per St. Augustine, 6 is a prefect number because God created all things in 6 days.

Likewise 28 was thought to be chosen by God as a perfect number of days to take the Moon to orbit the Earth

Amicable Numbers:
These numbers are whose divisions add up to their 'friend'. The best 2 examples of amicables numbers are 220
& 284.
220's divisions are 1+2+4+5+10+11+20+22+44+55+110=284
284's divisions are 1+2+4+71+142=220

Prime Numbers:
These are numbers that can be divided by 1 and itself. The first prime numbers are 1,2,3,5,7,11,13,17,19,23,29.

Euclid proved the following:
All natural numbers greater than 1 are made from products of prime numbers.
Prime numbers can be made by adding a sequence of numbers that double each time, then the4 prime number multiplied by the largest factor will be a perfect number.
(1+2+4=7; 7*4=28 which is a perfect number
1+2+4+8+16=31; 31*16= 496 which is a perfect number)

Secure Numbers (Strong Prime numbers):
Strong prime numbers are used for secure transaction over internet (PKI security).

A prime number is strong if the average value of the 2 primes on each side of the prime is less than the value of the prime.
(e.g 17 is the 7th prime. 6th & 8th prime numbers is 13 & 19. If we add them up (32) and half the summation is 16 which is less than 17 and hence 17 is a strong prime.

Most successful and important work in Geometry was performed by Euclid who invented the Fundamental Theorem of Arithmetic in his 13 volume book
His famous wording - Eureka is an interesting story.
His famous sentence was " Those who claim to discover everything, but produce no proofs of the same, may be confused as having pretended to discover the impossible.

Algebra - When is a number not a number:
Geometry was clearly an important tool for those wanting to draw and design with accuracy. But it took a 1000 years before it became the flexible tool we know today. It was a man named Abu Ja'far Muhammad bin Musa al-Khwarizmi born in Baghdad around 780 who invented Algebra.

Golden Phi:
Many philosphers and mathamaticians believe in a magical number for hundres of years; becasue they think they know the one of these magical irrational numbers(today we call Phi - 1.618033988...); an irrational numbers, it goes on forever, never forming a repeating pattern). Today this number is called golden section, golden ratio or simply golden number.

Few claim that Leonardo DA Vinci used the golden ratio to help him find the perfect propositions for his famous painting 'MONO LISA'. The division of a line into "extreme and mean ratio" (the golden section) is important in the geometry of regular pentagrams and pentagons.

At least since the Renaissance, many artists and architects have proportioned their works to approximate the golden ratio—especially in the form of the golden rectangle, in which the ratio of the longer side to the shorter is the golden ratio—believing this proportion to be aesthetically pleasing. Mathematicians have studied the golden ratio because of its unique and interesting properties.

e is one of the mysterious irrational numbers that lie at the heart of matahmatics. its value (to the first 20 decimal places) is 2.71828182845904523536

Its existence was more or less implied in the work of John Napier, the inventor of logarithms, in 1614. Euler was also the first to use the letter e for it in 1727 (the fact that it is the first letter of his surname is coincidental). As a result, sometimes e is called the Euler Number, the Eulerian Number, or Napier's Constant (but not Euler's Constant).

An effective way to calculate the value of e is not to use the defining equation above, but to use the following infinite sum:

e = 1/0! + 1/1! + 1/2! + 1/3! + 1/4! + ...

Without e, it would have been impossible to make the same progress in science and technology over the last few centuries.

Jacob Bernoulli was the first to discover e. He was looking for compound interest on money. He knew that if you added the interest to the sum more frequently then the sum would increase faster. But happen when you calculate in shorter intervals (6 months, 1 month or 1 week or 1 day..). He quickly disocvered that if you deposited $1 at 100 % interest APR:
if compounded annually, it becomes $2.0
if compounded biannually, it becomes $2.25
if compounded quarterly, it becomes $2.44
if compounded monthly, it becomes $2.61
if compounded weekly, it becomes $2.69
if compounded daily, it becomes $2.71
if compounded continuously, it becomes $2.718

Some people believe today that pi=22/7. But this is a rational number as its start to show repeating patterns, but actual value of pi is irrational number.
By definition, pi is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi is always the same number, no matter which circle you use to compute it. Pi is an infinite decimal.

Pi continued to fascinate mathematician for centuries and slowly came to know more accurately. = 3.14159265... For many years, the power of super-computers are determined by showing how many digits of pi, it can calculate.

i: the imaginary number:

What is i? It's the square root of -1 (see footnote below). And it's NOT a real number. i was invented because people wanted to be able to take square roots of negative numbers, and you can't do that if you limit yourself to real numbers. So we can make an imaginary number by taking a real number like 5 and multiplying it by i. That gives us 5i.

There are many superstitions about the number one - some are listed below.
If you break one egg, you will break a log.
It is unlucky to walk around the house in one slipper
Only keep money in one pocket or you will lose it.
One-eyed person is a witch
Seeing one magpie bodes a death in yuor family
If you wash your hair on the first day of the month you will have a shorter life
It is unlucky to get married on Aug1 or Jan 1.

In many religion, the number 1 is associated with the unity of God.In China, 1 is linked to growth and prosperity. Number 1 is single, unequivocal, exclusive oneness. The oneness has led to intolerance and centuries of bitter, bloddy battle.

Mobius is remembered for his work in topology; esp. on simple shape that bears his name. Mobius is not the first one to notice the shape, but Listing. Mobisu stripe has only one side and one edge.
(Make a Mobius strip and cut into thirds. Again carefully make a hole and cut parallel to the edge, about a third cross. You will quickly discover that although you are trying to cut it into 3, you only make one cut)

To be even has always meant more than a dull mathematical definition. Early Christains believe 2 represented devil or the division of soul and God. Zorostraints beleive that the 2 is symbolic of an eternal, evenly balanced battle between good and evil. In Russia, even number of flowers are for funerals.

In computer world, there is no 2; but only 1 or 0. Because it uses base of 2 (binary). The origins of binary are ancient, but perhaps the first person to study binary in detail was Gottfried Leibnitz (was born in 1646 in Germany).

Euler noticed that if you add the number of corners(vertices) to the number of faces and subtract the number of edges, teh answer is always 2.

Bernard Russel worked with Einstein and together they released Russell-Einstein Manifesto in 1955. While working with logic and mathematics, he found a paradox. Something that are both true and not true at the same time. His paradox seems to imply that the whole of mathematics was faulty.

This cannot be explained in mathematics, but here is an example.

"There is a barber who shaves precisely those people who don't shave themselves. Does he shave himself?"
If he does not shave himself, then he must shave himself. But if he does shave himself, then he will not shave himself. The only way this makes sense is if he shaves himself and does not shave himself at the same time - but that is logically impossible. That is why it is paradox.

There are lots of 3s. Traffic lights - red amber & green lights. Tom, Dick & Harry. Tremendously Triumphant Trio. Alphabet ABC. 3 meals- breakfast, lunch & supper.
3 is central to many religions; Holy Trinity - Father, Son & Holy Spirit. Hindhu - Bhrama, Vishnu & Shiva.

One of the most famous trinagular numbers is the so-called 'number of beast':666
(There is now some question about 666 being the number of the beast -- it turns out that it may have been a mistake made centuries ago in copying of the scriptures. In the oldest surviving copy of the New Testament-some 1,500 years old- the true 'evil' number is 616)

The magic relationship between the first 4 numbers and 10 led them to create a whole philosophy based on 10 sets of 4. (1+2+3+4=10)
Numbers- 1,2,34
Magnitudes - point, line surface, solid
Elements - fire,air, water, earth
Figures - pyramids, octahedron,icosahedron,cube
Living things - seed, growth in length, breadth, in thickness
Societies - man, village, city, nation
Faculties - reason, knowledge, opinion, sensation,
Seasons - Spring, summer, fall, winter
Ages of a person - infancy, youth, adult,m old age.
Parts of living things - body, three parts of soul.

When first 4 numbers are written one blow the other using dots, then they form a perfect triangle.

famous five' equation connecting the five most important numbers in mathematics, 0, 1, e, pi, and i:
e^(i*pi) + 1 = 0.

September 8, 2009

In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson

In a Sunburned Country by Bill Bryson.

[I heard about this book from my friend, but when I went to my doctor before the Aussie trip for H1N1 precaution procedures, he insisted me to read this book. I am glad that I listened to him and I recommend anyone visiting AU to read this book before reaching there (in fact I read it in the 14 hour flight to Sydney.]

AU is the world's 6th largest country and its largest island, It is the only island that is also a continent and a continent that is also a country. It was the first Continent conquered from sea and the last. It is the only nation that began as prison.

AU has vast land, but only 18 million people. 80% of the population is living at 5% of the land.

AU has less than 1% of the population, but has more 20% of the slot machines of the world.

Bush in AU is called outback.

The train trip from Sydney to Perth will go over by rail road that goes in a straight line for 350 miles without any train stop or deviation.

This is a country that loses a prime minister (he was strolling along a beach in Victoria when he plunged into the surf and vanished). It is also vast and empty that a band of amateur enthusiasts could conceivably set off the world's first non-governmental atomic bomb on it mainland and almost 4 years would pass before anyone noticed about the incident.

It is the house of the a largest living thing on earth, the great Barrier Reef and of the largest monolith. It has more things that will kill you than anywhere else. Of the world's 10 most poisonous snakes, all are Australian. Five of its creatures - the funded web spider, box jellyfish, blue-ringed octopus, paralysis tick and stonefish- are the most lethal of their type in the world.

Pickup up an innocuous cone shell from a Queensland beach, as innocent tourists are all too want to do , and you will discover that the little fellow inside is not just astounding swift and testy but exceedingly venomous.

All its seasons are inverted back to front (Their winter is in June -August, Summer is in Dec-Feb)..

From my personal travel diary:

We left LA on Sunday evening and landed in AU early Tue morning and we did not see sun light in between. For us, we missed August 24 completely.

While coming back from Sydney, we left Sydney on 30th Sunday 10:30am and landed in LA at 6:30 am on 30th Sunday - Something like "Back to the Future".

As per my friend in Sydney, they celebrate XMAS in June due to winter/snow feelings, School opening is in Feb,etc..

We find the Manly beach the best place to be (Sydney has many beautiful beaches - Bondi beach, Palm Beach, new Port beach... All of them with tri-color (deep blue followed by light green which is accompanied by white streams), but Manly has long miles of seqa shore for bike ride (rental available) where one street is full of shops (like a Carnival).

China Town is never to miss place as I did not find such a busy market with lots of food and partying in any other China Towns (NYC, SFO, etc..)

Blue Mountain is quite beautiful and worth a ride on the world's steepest railway journey which is a glorified roller-coaster ride.

We stayed near the Central Station and hence everything was within the reach (Town hall, China Town, George St, Queen Victoria Building...)

We took all day pass for couple of days - City hopper - which provided unlimited bus, train and ferry rides. Sunday Fundy is the cheapest ticket which is cost only $2 which allows unlimited bus, train and ferry trip, but only available on Sundays.

On the last day, we took the showboat which is not worth the $$$ spent. Instead of that, we should have spent it for a Opera performance at Opera house.

We found many Kebab restaurant (mainly Lebanese and Turkish) and Oriental dishes (Tai, Vietnamese, Chinese..).

On the first day itself, we walked 3 miles (folks redirected as if, the place is at the next block) and ate meat of Emu, Kangaroo, and Crocodile - None of them tasted good, but we did it as a point of interest.

I could find Passion Fruit and a smelly fruit which seems to be only available from Thailand(this looks like a jack fruit, but inside, it is different - even though it has awful smell, it tasted very good)

After coming back home, we changed our most favorite place from Switzerland to Australia in our personal travel world map.

September 6, 2009

Reclaiming Virtue by John Bradshaw.

Reclaiming Virtue by John Bradshaw.

How we can do develop the moral intelligence to do the right thing at the right time for the right reason.

Even though it talks about personal development, I find this book is very helpful for parents (esp. for bad parents) and recommended in that regard.

Why we keep telling stories of bravery, loyalty, justice, etc for centuries? It brings us hope about the goodness and human spirit. Dr. Robert Cole calls these stories as 'magnificent moral moments. Book narrates 10 such stories (in fact true stories), but I am listing few stories here.

Ruby Bridges:

She was 6 years old when she was enrolled in the formerly all-white school in New Orleans (Year 1969). New Orleans was still a hotbed of racial hatred. People wanted to kill Ruby and her family and had no reluctance saying so over and over again. Little Ruby went up against tremendous hate, prejudice, and pressure.

For days that turned into weeks and weeks that turned into months, this child had to brave murderously heckling mobs, there in the morning, and there in the evening, hurling threats and slurs and hysterical denunciations and accusations. Federal marshals took her to school and brought her home. She attended school all by herself for a good part of a school year, owing to a total boycott by white families.

Ruby's father was fired from his job, and even her grandparents were forced to move off the land they had farmed. Ruby and her family stick with their stand and continue their journey, ignoring the after-effects.

They just put their lives on the line for what's right and they may not be the ones who talk a lot or argue a lot or worry a lot; they just do a lot!.

Ruby's story help us withstand hardship, suffering and calamity.

I think, story of Maria Montessori is another good example. In the late 19th century, women were simply not supposed to be doctors. But she persisted and in 1896 she became the first woman to graduate from University of Rome's medical school. She dedicated her life for the 'defective children' (retarded, mentally disorders..)

Montessori came to believe that every child's true nature is characterized by order, spontaneous self-discipline, and harmony with others. Every child, she observed, is innately intelligent and moral. What is essential is a right environment, one that is run by unbiased adults and setup to stimulate the child at age-appropriate levels, taking advantage of their readiness to learn.

Today, Montessori schools exits all over the world. (In US, it is one of the best($$$) place to send kids for their KG schooling).

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th president of US, embodied the extraordinary leadership that led to the greatest moral moments in the making of democracy in USA. His annual speech to congress in 1862, he said:

" We -even we here - hold the power and bear the responsibility. In giving freedom to slave, we assure freedom to the free - honorable alike in what we give and what we preserve. We shall nobly save, or meanly lose, the last best hope of the earth."

He hoped, all the people would be guided by "the better angels of our nature".

Magnificent moral moments often move us to tears.

Part 1. Moral Intelligence.

" All virtues are the qualities that make up our humanity and in the virtuous man, humanity and virtue inevitably converge. It is man's virtue that makes him human" - Aristotle.

Democritus (Aristotle's teacher) repeatedly stresses the importance of 'good desires'. Character and habit are the basis for the proper direction of one's life. "For those whose character is well ordered, life too is set in order along with it".

What is the difference between speculative and practical knowledge?

Speculative wisdom (aka Sophia) that allows us to be expert in understanding the nature of justice. Practical wisdom (aka prudence or moral intelligence) is the virtue that enables us to be just.

[When Erik Erikson was writing his book on "Gandhi's truth", he realized Gandhi was very hard on his family. He felt compelled to contrast this behavior with Gandhi's philosophy of nonviolence and tolerance . Gandhi's great doctrine was harder to practice at home]

Aristotle summed up the distinction: "In regard to virtue, not to know what it is, but to know how to acquire it, that is what is most precious. For we do not want to know what justice is, but to be just".

Prudence enables us:
To be brave rather than cowardly or ruthless
To be just than dishonest or legalistic
To be self-controlled than impulsive or out-of-control
To take compassionate action in the face of suffering

Tomkin's theory (early 1960s) traces how our basic biological responses are converted into our most complex emotions. He further divided the 'effect system' into three parts - Affects, feelings and emotions.

An 'effect' lasts but a few seconds, a 'feeling' only long enough for us to make the flash of recognition and an 'emotion' as long as we keep finding memories that continue to trigger that effect".

In 1839, Dr. Burgess established for the first time that in addition to light-skinned Europeans, dark-skinned races also blush; in other words, blush is universal human trait.

In Charles Darwin's study of shame(in 1872), he answered to the question (What is human), "blushing is the most peculiar and the most human of all expressions".

Russian philosopher Vladimir Solovyov reiterated the same,"the feeling of shame... is the fact which absolutely distinguishes man from all lower nature..."

Natural shame is the root of moral intelligence.

Dr. Ridley wrote" Communism failed, because it failed to change human nature". Human nature works because of self-interest and reciprocity - one good deed does produce another.

In "The Descent of Man", Darwin wrote: "A tribe from possessing in a high degree the spirit of patriotism, fidelity, obedience, courage and sympathy, were always ready to give aid to each other and to sacrifice themselves for the common good, would be victorious over most other tribes and this would be natural selection".

Steven Pinket's NY article 'The Moral Instinct', he calls the following are the primary colors of our moral sense.

1. Not harming others
2. Being fair
3. Being loyal to a group
4. respect legitimate authority
5. Exalting what is pure, clean, and holy.

Schwartz has done pioneering work on OCD(obsessive compulsive disorder). OCD is a neuro disease marked by distressing , intrusive, unwanted thoughts(obsession part) that trigger intense urges to perform ritualistic behavior(compulsion part).

OCD patient can focus on almost anything, but they are frequently about cleanness, about safety, or about human harming someone else.

For many years, the recommended treatment drawn from behaviorism. Schwartz found this approach inhuman and inappropriate. He believed patients could learn a practical, self-directed approach that would teach them to use healthy part of their brain. He developed four step instructions

1. Relabel their obsessive thoughts as symptoms of a disease and false signal
2. Re attribute these thoughts by learning to think and say, "this thought reflects a malfunction of my brain , not a real need to wash my hands again"
3. Refocus on a constructive behavior such as " I'll go out to my garden and work or I will read the book I've been wanting to read"
4. Revalue the OCD obsessive thought and compulsive behavior, realizing they have no intrinsic value of inherent power.

10 major sources from which moral intelligence develops:

1. Grand will
2. Religion, the authority of a higher power
3. Natural conscience
4. Environment
5. Moral Imagination
6. Moral Models
7. Emotional Intelligence
8. Experience
9. Character
10. Evil.

What makes prudence work:

In his Summa Theologica, Aquinas presents what he called the 'integral parts' of prudence.

1. The humility that moves a person to seek advice and predisposes her to new learning

2. The insight that comes from an informed conscience(he called this intellextus)

3. A rigorous, honest long-term memory that allows us to use our past experience correctly in the present situation.

4. The intuitive ability to find the exact mean or balance between extremes

5. Deftness, sagacity, or expertise in practical reasoning

6. Foresight, the ability to evaluate the future consequences of one's choice

7. Circumspection, the ability to consider all the facts surrounding the choices may have a hidden potential for eveil and the willingness to probe these possible consequences.

Thanks to researches such as Tomkins, Damasiom Siegl and LeDoux, we have a better understanding of how emotions are essential to judgment and choice, indeed, how affect is a form of thinking.

(now, everyone proclaims importance of 'emotional IQ)

1. Contained emotion
2. Healthy shame as modesty
3. Ego strength as willpower.

Part 2 - Developing Your moral Intelligence

Raised to its extremes, all virtues become vices. - Judith M. Bardwick.

(Author lists steps to follow, but he also warns that may need therapist help and I am skipping those portions).

Caring for yourself and caring for others:

Adulthood is the time for full flowering of a virtuous life. Either we develop a meaningful livelihood or we succumb to laziness.

The grave danger that non-completion of the crisis entails is one fo the following.

1. Laziness, avoidance of work
2. Staying at the first job for one's whole life because of fear of taking a new risk
3. Moving from one job to another because of grandiose and unrealistic fantasy of striking it rick or because person believes they are above any job they take
4. Work and money addiction

When we marry, early childhood wounds and damaged developmental dependency needs emerge in issues such as

1. Boundary problems
2. The inability to resolve conflicts
3. The non-containment of emotions (esp. anger)
4. Communication problems
5. If we have children, lack of parenting skills
6. Sexual problems.


Love has universally been thought of as the highest virtue, but it is difficult to define as same reason that words cannot describe the flavor of an orange. The most influential ancient work on love is Plato's 'Symposium'. In this, it talks about definition according to Socrates and Aristotle.

Socrates tells, that all he knows about love he owes to a woman and Dicotima taught Socrates that love is always about desire and lacking. Erotic love is not completeness, but incompleteness. It i snot fulfillment, but all consuming want. Eros(Love) never rests; it is always on the move, always yearning. The love of eros is a love of a bounteous suffering, a strange commingling of joy and anguish.

Aristotle definition is often cited -because of its romantic touch. The god Zeus, he explains , was jealous of humans original wholeness and power - so jealous that he split us in half, leaving us in a state of incompleteness and longing. We were left to wander the world looking for our other half, longing to reunite with our soul mate.

Aristotle's myth also suggests that we have only one true love , our single other half. Love is thus exclusive and permanent. Problem in love simply means that we have not found our soul mate.


Lust is a sexual attraction, and we are learning that lust is not only reason one person is attracted to another.

Studies have shown that symmetry (roundness, waist-to-hip ratio, the regularity of a handsome or beautiful face), scent, power, status and what is called, ' familiar love' play a role in attractions.

"love map" (subliminal guide to the ideal partner) is drawn from the experience of our childhood, the things we liked or found enticing and exciting about parents and other people. If we liked the way one of our parents laughed or told a joke, or the cadence of their voice, meeting someone with similar behavioral traits can stimulate our attractions program.

Thomas Moore write, " Being in love moves you to experience your soul's life, in which passion and imagination are far deeper than the world of pragmatism".

Intimate love takes many years to create, and it requires to work on many major issues, including,..

1. Good self-identity
2. Self-disclosure
3. Emotional containment
4. The ability to express one's needs clearly
5. The ability to listen
6. The ongoing disclosure of positive love messages
7. Friendship with one's partner
8. Admiring one's partner
9. Being able to support your partner's values when they differ from your own
10. Having spiritual connection
11. Nurturing each others growth and self-actualization
12. Continuing to touch and hold each other both sensually and sexually
13. Modesty and healthy shame.

Encountering morality:

In an essay "faith and doubt'. Romano Guardini says this about aging:

"Persons who once seems indispensable die. One after another disappears - parents, teachers, onetime superiors, contemporaries next. One has the feeling that a former generation has come to an end and that the following, one's own is beginning to crumble.....

Concepts t=of what is right and fitting that had appeared unshakable and part of existence have lost their validity... Reality then becomes questionable... reality engages the will in what is at the moments to be sought, done and mastered".

Part 3 - Nurturing the Moral Intelligence of Those in Our Care

"New opinions are always suspected and usually opposed without any other reason but because they are not common" - John Locke.

Following are 8 examples of child's immature moral judgment that are normal during the preschool and school age periods.

1. Separating from self from the external world
2. The power of names and 'bad words'
3. Magical thinking
4. The failure to grasp Intention
5. Harsh Rules and Punishments
6. Being smarter than adults
7. Lying and stealing
8. Goodness of Adults

Functional family needs rules and some suggestions are

1. Problems are acknowledged and resolved.
2. All members can freely and appropriately express their perceptions, feelings, thoughts, desires and fantasies.
3. All relationship are dialogical (each one has equal value)
4. Communication is direct, congruent, and sensory-based, (concrete, specific and behavioral)
5. Family members can get most of their needs met
6. Family members can be different
7. Parents do what they say(self-disciplined and disciplinarians)
8. Wherever appropriate, family are chosen and flexible
9. All rules require accountability and consequences
10. Violation of others values leads to guilt.
11. Mistakes are forgiven and viewed as learning tools
12. Family system exists for the individual 's well-being
13. Parents are in touch with their healthy shame (they know that they make mistakes and are humble)
14. While fun and spontaneity cannot be made into a rule, they are the fruit of all these rules.

What is Character?

People of great character have three things in common.

1. Optimistic and undiluted moral energy that does not waver in the face of fear or adversity. they have the virtue of courage

2. Self-discipline energized by willpower. They have the virtue of temperance

3. Commitment to a core set of moral values that govern their style of living. These values are guarded by guilt and moved by the virtue of purpose.

Apart of our innate temperament, 3 essential factors help shape our unique moral character. they are...

1. Ego strength that form the roots of the virtues of courage, temperance and purpose and of purpose's offspring, preservance

2. Parental leadership that guides a child to develop 3 qualities
(a. healthy self-esteem - including the ego strengths mentioned above-,
b. social interest- which includes respect for parents, family members and cultural and religious traditions
c. respect for the rules and laws that come from legitimate authority. - This includes supervising and igniting their moral imagination - reading, selective TV shows, selective video games...)

3. School environment that fosters peer relationships and expands the social skills of friendship, sharing, cooperating, and playing fair, increase respect for authority figures outside the family; teaches children the skills that prepare them to take on adult responsibilities and an understanding of the wider culture of materialism and the cultural consensus or success (material success, physical beauty, and athleticism)

Self-esteems and social interest:

Social interest includes

Respect for others
Tolerance of others
Interest in others
Cooperation with others
Encouraging agreement
A true sense of worth
Willingness to share
A feeling of belonging

What children learn from TV

1. Violence isn't anything to get upset about
2. Put-downs are funny
3. Its rotten world
4. Adults are stupid
5. Life is entertainment
6. Sex is okay with just about anyone
7. Things make you happy
8. Violence is a way to get what you want.

Plato wrote eloquently about the importance of carefully educating the young.

"You know that the beginning is the most important part of any work esp. in the case of a young and tender things: for that is the time at which they character is being formed.... Shall we carelessly allow children to hear any casual tales (author's example - watch any TV /video games) which may be devised by casual persons...anything received into the mind at that age is likely to become indelible and unalterable; therefore it is most important that the tales which the young first hear should be models of virtues though"

Few important readings suggested by the Author:

Tuesdays with Morrie - by Mitch Albom. This book is filled with Morrie's wisdom which he garnered from experience rather than book learning

The book of virtues By Bennet William. This is a treasury of great moral stories, annotated with very helpful comments.

The use of Enchantment: The meaning and importance of fairy tales by Bruno Bettelheim. This book can help you stimulate your child's moral imagination

A Small Treatise on the Great Virtues by Andre Comte-Sponville. he is one of the most important of a new wave of french philosophers and is the author of 5 highly acclaimed books on classical philosophy.