December 30, 2014

The strangest secret by Earl Nightingale

The strangest secret by Earl Nightingale

When we say about 5% achieved success, we have to define success: “Success is the progressive realization of a worthy deal”. If a man is working toward a predetermined goal and knows where he is going, that man is a success.

Have you ever wondered why so many men work so hard and honestly without ever achieving anything in particular, and others don’t seem to work hard and yet seem to get everything? It is because of goals. People with goals, succeed because they know where they are going.

Throughout all history, the great wise men and teachers,philosophers and prophets have disagreed with one another on many different things. It is only on one point that they are in complete and unanimous agreement and that point is: “we become what we think about”.

We can achieve nothing without paying the price. What is the price?

First, it’s understanding emotionally as well as intellectually - that we literally become what we think about - ‘as you sow, so shall you reap’.

Secondly, it’s cutting away all the fetters from the mind and permitting it to soar. It’s the realization that your limitations are self-imposed and that the opportunities for you today are enormous beyond itself. It is rising above narrow-minded pettiness and prejudice.

Thirdly, to use all your courage to force yourself to think positively on your problems; to set a definite and clearly-defined goals for yourself; to let your marvelous mind think about your goal from all possible angles; to let your imagination speculate freely upon many solutions

Fourth, save at least 10% of what you earn

30 day action ideas for putting the strangest secret to work for you:

  • Write down on a card what it is you want more than anything else. Make sure it is the single goal oriented.

  • Think about it in a cheerful, relaxed, positive way each morning when you get up

  • Look at the abundance all around you as you go about your daily business.

  • Stop thinking what is your fear or negative feelings

  • If a person wants more, he must be of more service to those from whom he received and returns.

Bible quote: “Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you”.

An outstanding doctor recently pointed out six steps that will help you to realize success:

  • Set yourself a definite goal
  • Quit running yourself down
  • Stop thinking of all reasons why you can’t and think of all reasons why you can
  • Trace your attitude back to your childhood and  try to discover where you first got the idea you couldn’t be a success, if there is the way you have been thinking.
  • Change to the image you have of yourself by writing out a description of the person you would like to be
  • Act the part of the successful person you have decided to become

December 29, 2014

The willpower instinct by Kelly McGonigal

The willpower instinct by Kelly McGonigal
How self-control works, why it matters and what you can do to get more of it.

[Author created a course for Stanford University on this topic and this book is the course book].

Our ability to control our attention, emotions, appetites and behavior, not only greatly influences our health, financial security, relationship and professional success. To succeed at self-control you need to know how you fail.

Willpower is about harnessing the three powers of I will, I won’t and I want to help you to achieve your goals. Just a few generations ago, your responsibilities in life would have been so simple. 1. Find dinner, 2. Reproduce, 3. Avoid unexpected encounters. Back to modern-day life, willpower has gone from being the thing that distinguishes us humans from other animals to the thing that distinguishes us from each other. Our modern powers of self-control are the product of long-ago pressures to be better neighbors, parents and mates.

Every willpower challenge requires doing something difficult, whether it is walking away from temptation or not running away from a stressful situation. Every willpower challenge is a conflict between two parts of oneself - the impulsive version and wiser version. To have more self-control, you first need to develop more self-awareness.

Neuroscientists have discovered that like an eager student, the brain is remarkably responsive to experience. Ask your brain to do math every day, and it gets better at math. Ask your brain to worry and it gets better at worrying. Ask your brain to concentrate, and it gets better at concentrating. Neuroscientists have discovered that when you ask the brain to mediate, it gets better, not just at mediating, but at a wide range of self-control skills, including attention, focus, stress management, impulse control and self-awareness. Over time, with regular medication, brains become finely tuned will power machines. Breath focus is a simple but a powerful meditation technique for training your brain and increasing willpower.

When people are under stress, the sympathetic nervous system (impulsive version)  takes over, which is part of basic biology that helps you fight or flee. In contrast, when people successfully exert self-control, the nervous system steps in calm stress and control impulsive action. Exercise turns out to be the closest thing to wonder drug that self control scientists have discovered.

Willpower instinct is a wonderful thing, but all of the mental tasks - focusing your attention, weighing competing goals, and quieting stress and carving - require physical energy from your body, in the same way your muscles require energy to fight or flee in an emergency. Some scientists speculate that chronic self-control - like chronic stress - can increase your chance of getting sick by diverting resources from the immune system. One of the best ways to recover from stress is relaxation which will help your body to recover from the physiological effects of chronic stress or heroic control.

Willpower can be disrupted by sleep deprivation, poor diet, a sedentary lifestyle and a host of other factors that sap your energy or keep your brain and body stuck in a chronic stress response. Stress is enemy of will power. Tired, stressed-out people start from a tremendous disadvantage and our bad habits - from overeating to under-sleeping, not only reflect lack of self-control, but also draining our energy and creating more stress.

Researchers have found that self-control is highest in the morning and steadily deteriorates over the course of the day. In study after study no matter what, people’s self-control deteriorated over time. A concentration task didn’t just lead to worse attention over time; it depleted physical strength. Controlling emotions didn’t just lead to emotional outbursts; it made people more willing to spend money on something they didn’t need. It was as if every act of willpower was drawing from the same source of strength, leaving people weaker with each successful act of self-control.

Roy Baumeister (a psychologist at Florida State University) led us to the following hypothesis: that self-control is like a muscle. When used, it gets tired. If you don’t rest the muscle, you can run out of strength entirely, like an athlete who pushes himself to exhaustion. A brain that could bias your decision toward immediate gratification when resources are scarce. If you never seem to have the time and energy for your “I will” challenge, schedule it for when you have the most strength. In fact, type 2 diabetes is for all practical purposes the same as chronic low blood sugar person, because, the brain and body cannot efficiently use the energy that is available. This is likely one reason people with uncontrolled diabetes show impaired self-control and deficits in prefrontal cortex function. This is one of the reasons, recommendation to have a good breakfast on work week where brain needs more energy.

When you are trying to make a big change or transform an old habit, look for a small way to practice self-control that strengthen your willpower, but doesn’t overwhelm it completely. The next time you find yourself ‘too tired’ to exert self-control, challenge yourself to go beyond that first feeling of fatigue. When you find your biggest want power - the motivation that gives you strength when you feel weak - bring it to mind whenever you find yourself most tempted to give in or give up.

When a halo effect is getting in the way of your willpower challenge, look for the most concrete measure (e.g. Calories, cost, time spent or wasted) of whether a choice is consistent with your goals. For better self-control, forget virtue, and focus on goals and values.
When we add the instant gratification of modern technology to this primitive motivational system, we end up with dopamine-delivery devices that are damn near impossible to put down. Cell phones, the internet, and other social media may have accidentally exploited our reward system, but computer and video game designers intentionally manipulate the reward system to keep players hooked. High levels of dopamine amplify the lure of immediate gratification, while making you less concerned about long-term consequences.

Marketing researchers at Stanford University have shown that food and drink samples make shoppers hungrier and thirstier, and put shoppers in a reward-seeking state of mind. Because samples combine two of the biggest promises of reward: Free and Food. Business also use smells to manufacture desire where none existed. An appetizing odor is one of the fastest ways to trigger the promise of reward and as soon as the scented molecules land on your olfactory receptors, the brain will bring searching for the source. The next time you walk by a fast food restaurant and are tempted by the smell of french fries and burgers, it is safe bet you don't smell the food inside, but a carefully manufactured scent being piped onto the sidewalk through special vents.  The website of Scent Air ( runs gamut from Fresh Linen to Birthday Cake and they brags about how it lured visitors into an ice cream parlor on the lower level of a hotel.

We want to feel our desires and we delight in a world that puts them on constant display for us to dream about. That’s why people like window shopping, flipping through luxury magazines, and touring open houses. When you really understand how a so-called reward makes you feel, you will be better-able to make smart decisions about whether and how to reward yourself.

According to the American Psychological Association, the most effective stress-relief strategies are exercising, or playing sports, praying or attending a religious service, reading, listening to music, spending time with friends or family, getting a massage, going outside for a walk, mediating yoga, and spending time with a creative hobby.

Promising and encouraging student to keep going, if the goal is important and any effort made now would take the student closer to the goal (the reward in the future will drive students to reach their goal - motivate your future self). Our inability to clearly see the future clearly leads us into temptation and procrastination. A recommendation is to create a future memory, write a letter to your future self or just imagine yourself in the future.

There are three ways our social brains can catch willpower failures. The first is unintentional mimicry. The mirror neurons that detect another person’s movement prime that very same movement in your own body (drinking habit). The second way is the contagion of emotion - e.g. coworkers bad mood can become our bad-mood. Thirdly, our brain can even catch temptation when we see others give in - e.g. we eat more with others than when we are alone. Self control is influenced by social-proof, making both will power and temptation contagious.

Each time, the mere act of trying not to think about something triggered a paradoxical effect: people thought about it more than when they weren’t trying to control their thoughts, and even more than when they were intentionally trying to think about it. This effect was strongest when people were already stressed out, tired or distracted. If we want to save ourselves from mental suffering, we need to make peace with those thoughts, not push them away.  When an urge takes hold, stay with the physical sensation and ride them like a wave, neither pushing them away nor acting on them.

If there is a secret of greater self-control, the science points to one thing: the power of paying attention. It’s training the mind to recognize when you are making a choice, rather than running on autopilot. It’s noticing how you give yourself permission to procrastinate, or how you use good behavior to justify self-indulgence. It is realizing that the promise of reward doesn’t always deliver, and that your future self is not a superhero or a stranger. It is seeing what you in your world - from sales gimmicks to social proof - is shaping your behavior. It’s remembering what you really want and knowing what really makes you feel better. Self Awareness is the one self you can always count on to help you do what is difficult and what matters most. And that is the best definition of willpower I can think of.

December 28, 2014

Little red book of selling - Jeffrey Gitomer

Little red book of selling - Jeffrey Gitomer
12.5 principles of sales greatness - how to make sales forever

If they like you and they believe you and they trust you and they have confidence in you... they they may buy from you

People don’t like to be sold, but they love to buy

Why they buy - an answer every salesperson needs

·         I like my sales rep
·         I understand what I am buying
·         I perceive a difference in the person and the company that I am buying from
·         I perceive a value in the product that I am purchasing
·         I believe my sales rep
·         I have confidence in my sales rep
·         I trust my sales rep
·         I am comfortable with my sales rep
·         I feel that there is a fit of my need and his/her product or service
·         The price seems fair, but it is not necessarily the lowest
·         I perceive that this product or service will increase my productivity
·         I perceive that this product or service will increase my profit
·         12.5 I perceive that my sales person is trying to help me build my business in order to earn his. My sales person is a valuable resource to me

What is your biggest fear... speaking, rejection or failing?

We live in a world of negative conditioning. The three big motivators are... fear, greed and vanity. They drive American sales process and sales people

To make the most of a networking event, spend 75% of your time with people you don’t know.

It is not hard sell, but heart sell. Good questions get to the heart of the problem/need/situation very quickly - without the buyer feeling like he or she is being pushed.

You can debate how much humor to use, but you cannot deny the power of laughter as a universal bond from human to human, and from human to sales order form

One at a time, brick by brick, remove the risks that the buyer perceives as  fatal mistakes in his decision making process. Then drive home the rewards, both emotionally and logically.

The more chances than you dare. You’ll make more sales than you expect. That is the formula.
What’s the difference between failure and success in sales people?

  1. Believe you can. I wanna be a success! I wanna be a success!
  2. Have the right associations. Network where the best customers and prospects go.
  3. Expose yourself to what’s new. If you’re not learning every day – your competition is.
  4. Plan the day. Are your plans and goals in front of your face every day?
  5. Become valuable. Become known as a resource, not a salesperson.
  6. Have the answers your prospects and customers need.
  7. Take responsibility. Get the job done no matter what. Don’t blame others or yourself.
  8. Take action. Nothing happens until you do something to make it happen.
  9. Make mistakes. The best teacher is failure. It is the breeding ground of self-determination.
  10. Be willing to risk. Taking chances is a common thread among every successful person. Most people won’t risk because they fear the unknown. If you want to succeed, you’d better be willing to risk whatever it takes to get there.
  11. Keep your eyes on the prize. Post your goals. Stay focused on your dreams and they will become reality.
  12. Balance yourself. Your physical, spiritual and emotional health are vital to your success. Plan your time to allow your personal goals to be synergized with your work goals.
  13. Invest, don’t spend. Reduce your spending and make a few investments each month.
  14. Stick at it until you win. Most people fail because they quit too soon.
  15. Develop and maintain a positive attitude.
  16. Ignore idiots and zealots. These people will try to rain on your parade because they have no parade of their own. Avoid them at all costs.

What does it take to be number one?

  1. A contagious positive attitude
  2. Excited about the prospect of helping others
  3. Self-assured, not arrogant
  4. I like people and they like me
  5. Not just ‘book smart’
  6. If I am not having fun, what’s the point
  7. I do everything full force
  8. Unspoken integrity, Visible honest
  9. I concentrate on the details without getting caught up in them
  10. I’m kid-like happy on the inside.

Golden Rule: If you make a sale, you can earn a commission. If you make a friend, you can earn a fortune


Principle #1 – Kick Your Own Butt
No one will do it for you. No one really wants to help you. Very few will inspire you. And even fewer will care about you.

Principle #2 – Prepare to Win, or Lose to Someone Who Is
In order to be a success at sales or life, the first thing you have to master is homework.

Principle #3 – Personal Branding is Sales; It’s Not Who You Know, It’s Who Knows You

Principle #4 – It’s All About Value, It’s All About Relationship, It’s Not About Price
All things being equal, people want to do business with their friends. All things being not quite so equal, people STILL want to do business with their friends.

Principle #5 – It’s Not Work, It’s NETwork
Networking is a mandatory function of business for sales people.

Principle #6 – If You Can’t Get In Front of the Real Decision Maker, You Lose.

Principle #7 – Engage Me and You Can Make Me Convince Myself

Principle #8 – If You Can Make Them Laugh, You Can Make Them Buy!
Making people smile or laugh puts them at ease and creates an atmosphere more conducive for agreement

Principle #9 – Use Creativity to Differentiate and Dominate

Principle #10 – Reduce Their Risk, And You’ll Convert Selling To Buying
Eliminate risk and prospects are more likely to buy.

Principle #11 – When You Say It About Yourself, It’s Bragging. When Someone Else Says It About You, It’s Proof.
Your reputation is everything

Principle #12 – Antennas Up! Using Your 6th Sense, the Sense of Selling.
If your dominant senses you radiate are positive, you can make sales – lots of them.

Principle #12.5 – Resign Your Position as General Manager of the Universe.