What got you here won’t get you there by Marshall Goldsmith.
[Wonderful personal development tips to help in anyone’s life]
Most of us in our workplace delude ourselves about our achievements, our status and out contributions. We,
- Overestimate our contribution to a project;
- Take credit, partial or complete, for success that truly belong to others
- Have an elevated opinion of our professional skills and standing among our peers;
- Conveniently ignore the costly failures and time-consuming dead-ends we have created.
- Exaggerate our project’s impact on profitability by discounting real and hidden costs.
Four key beliefs help us to become successful and they are
- Past performance
- their ability to influence their success (rather than just being lucky)
- their optimistic belief that their success will continue in the future
- their sense of control over their own destiny (as opposed to being controlled by external forces)
Each can make it tough for us to change and that is the paradox of success. This makes us superstitious.
20 habits that hold you back from the top
- Winning too much
- Adding too much value
- Passing judgments
- Starting with ‘no’ but’ or ‘however’
- Telling the world how smart we are
- Speaking when angry
- Negativity or ‘let me explain why that won’t work’
- Withholding information
- Failing to give proper recognition
- Claiming credit that we don’t deserve
- Making excuses
- Clinging to the past
- Playing favorites
- Refusing to express regret
- Not listening
- Failing to express gratitude
- Punishing the messenger
- Passing the buck
- An excessive need to be ‘me’.
The higher we go, the more your problems are behavioral.
At the higher levels of organizational life, all the leading players are technically skilled and they are smart. All other things are equal, your people skills (or lacks of them) become more pronounced the higher you go.
How can we change for the better?
The four commitments:
- Let go of the past
- Tell the truth
- Be supportive and helpful - not cynical or negative
- Pick something to improve yourself - so everyone is focused more on ‘improving’ than judging.
The skills that separate the near-great from the great.
- Don’t interrupt
- Don’t finish the other’s sentence
- Don’t say ‘I knew that’
- Don’t even agree with the other person
- Don’t use the words, ‘non’ but' & 'however'
- Don’t be distracted. Don’t let your eyes or attention wander elsewhere while the other person is talking
- Maintain your end of the dialogue by asking intelligent questions that a) show you are paying attention, b) more the conversation forward, and c) require the other person to talk (while you listen)
- Eliminate any striving to impress the other person with how smart of funny you are. Your only aim is to the other person feel that he or she is accomplishing that.
Eight step method for changing our interpersonal relationship and making these changes permanent.
- You might not have a disease that behavioral change can cure
- Pick the right thing to change
- Don’t delude yourself about what you really must change
- Don’t hide from the truth you need to hear
- There is no ideal behavior
- If you can measure it, you can achieve it
- Monetize the result, create a solution
- The best time to change is now